Backslid husband

[A.W. Bowman]

You have made a good start- praying.

My recommendation is to start communicating with your husband - and I will warn you right up front that will most likely not be an easy task. It will take time and perseverance because he will be very reluctant to discuss anything of importance to him or that makes him feel challenged. Also, any discussion that moves beyond the, "Everything is alright. (I don't want to talk about it.)" stage will be emotionally charged. Loud voice, more cursing, etc.)

I would suggest you not to discuss 'the need to be in church', that will only reinforce his silence and push him further into his current position.

Rather, search for the root cause in his change in behavior. What happened at church (event, preaching, personal conflict, etc.) that caused his upset. Don't try to cover everything at one setting - just take one or two subjects (at the most) at a time. No shot gun attack.

Is he convicted about something he did that he is ashamed of and can't get back 'right' with God? Has he sinned against you and God? Guilt can also have a profound effect on a man and his behavior.

While I have offered a couple of approaches,I would also strongly recommend that you seek council from one or more close lady friends at church. Perhaps one or more of them have husbands who are (were) friends with your husband before he started skipping church. Seek a mature saint to met with you husband outside of the church and home environments, where quite and confidential discussions can take place (emotional safety is critical).

The root causes almost always fall into one of the following categories:

I have sinned and don't know how to get out of it (can't get forgiven, will I be found out, etc.).

I feel pressured to do things I don't want to do (nagging by spouse, pastor, etc.) such as attending every service just because the church doors are open, being made guilty for not attending church work days, not giving enough, etc.

I don't believe the things that are being preached at church (disputes over doctrine, performance requirements, etc.).

And, while it may be a little bit of all of these things, it might something else altogether - so before going into any confrontation, seek some godly advice (face to face interviews with mature saints). I would also not involve the pastor, until you can rule him and/or his teaching out as the root cause(s).

These internet counseling efforts might actually cause more harm than good - so, again, seek out someone you know and trust and talk it over with them before doing anything.

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Added comment - I would think Falla will have better advice than mine. Go with her first.