Quote:
Originally Posted by deacon blues
The best thing a father can do to with an effeminate son is SPEND TIME with him. Teach him what a man does. Affirm him as his son. Love on him, hug him, be affectionate with his son so that one day he won't long to be in the arms of a man because his daddy showed him love when he yearned for it. Hunt, fish, play ball, wrestle, play video games, work, cut grass, garden, trim bushes and trees, go to ballgames together, talk about women, heterosexuality, puberty, nocturnal emissions, the dangers of porn, Biblical morality, etc. Masculinity is taught and caught---BE A DAD and your son won't struggle with effeminacy or homosexuality.
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I completely agree! I also think that obsessing over occasional "crossover" is not only ridiculous, but potentially harmful. I wouldn't punish my kids for behaving "butch"(aka, tomboys) or "feminine"(aka, the sensitive boy). Punishment is the wrong, wrong, WRONG approach and that's what scares me a little about the sermon--that someone might take it the wrong way and think they need to punish their kids for not being typically masculine or feminine.
My oldest daughter has loved horses her whole life, went through a phase when she refused to wear pink anything, and has always loved to fish, dig up worms and be in nature. Yes, along the way I had to encourage her to embrace her femininity along with her tomboy side, but I didn't berate her for liking "boy" things or make it a big deal that she'd rather fish than shop. Now, here she is at 16.5 and she's feminine and beautiful, embraces pink (finally!!!) and still loves her cowboy boots. The idea that I would have steered her away from her natural affinity for nature, horses and *dirt* for fear that she would be gay is appalling to me.
IMO, a father overreacting to his son liking something traditionally feminine would be a traumatic event. What if a boy loves to cook and learns to make pastry and cakes? So what? Maybe he will grow up to be a chef? How about if he DOESN'T like to hunt or kill animals? My husband HATES to hunt and when he went with my brother-in-law, he would scare the animals (rabbits, deer, whatever) away and then my BIL would angrily chase him through the woods.
That doesn't make him less of a man! I love that he has stepped in and told our kids that we are to respect God's creation and that my son isn't allowed to squash frogs or torture animals just for the pleasure of it--something a lot of parents see as "typically male behavior."
Your post is fantastic. I recall reading something a LONG time ago that brought out statistics about the number of men who were gay relative to the number who had either bad relationships with their father--or no relationship at all. Interesting concept.
I wish parents would look at their kids through naked eyes, without the lens of our culture, and see them as coming into this world with God-given gifts--evidenced in their own unique personalities. Our job isn't to limit those gifts, but to discover their gifts and help them develop them.
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