So Much Hurt On This Forum

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I have heard that story and I always like hearing it again.

Plus we are finding out now that on top of everything else Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter! The man never ceases to amaze me.

[ILG]

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Neither do I, but I have to find my answers in the scriptures.

You are allowed to find them in whatever way works for you as far as I am concerned.

Let me first say that I understand the purpose of this forum:

1. People who have left the UPC and who want to vent.

2. People who want to discuss issues without being censored.

I am not against that. I think just by reading we draw our own conclusions, which could be right or they could be wrong. But, nonetheless, we draw them.

I'm more of a private person and wouldn't want to share details. We don't even do that in our own family. I love people, love to act serious and silly, but I don't share a lot of the deepest part of my heart and thoughts and I don't ask people personal questions. I am sure it's just me.

I think the purpose of this forum is many different things to many different people. To say it is just for people who want to vent and discuss issues without censorship is, in my opinion, a bit shortsighted (no offense intended). I think people come here for fellowship, to talk to people they haven't seen in a while, to have fun, and to just banter. I think that is the reasons people come here but I have probably left a few out as well.

I come out here once in a while to see how people are doing and to chat. I am usually drawn to the threads on hurt because that was pretty much my experience in the UPC, all 19 years of it. The experiences I have most often spoken of have been generic, confusion about standards, being drawn into the culture and losing my own sense of perspective etc. I have talked about those things a lot over the years. I like to see how other people have dealt with issues and invariably I end up speaking a few things just because I feel like it. Then, I usually get bashed, told I am bitter and nursing a grudge and stuff like that. Hey, it feels like old times!!

But it reminds me why I left, why I stay gone and why I visit the forum infrequently.

But I come here for other reasons too. After living in the UPC for 19 years, somewhat insulated from certain segments of society and certain ideas, it feels like home and comfortable in a weird sort of way. Those who have left know what I mean. I come here to see old friends and chew the fat. I like to see how everyone is.

I have spoken very little about the lawsuit and the things I went through in the last church we were at. I wrote a book about it last summer. It helped me a lot to get it on paper.

Still, I haven't published it. Not because I think I would be grinding some ax if I did even though I would be accused of that.

I haven't because I don't know that I want to open those old wounds. I keep the book sealed because I come first now. I could probably put a lot of things into perspective for people if I published it. I'll publish it if I feel like it and I won't if I don't want to. End of story.

And, I'll come here and talk about whatever I want to whenever I want to. End of story.

But it's still somewhat home anyway.

[Pressing-On]

[QUOTE=ILG;1170343]

You are allowed to find them in whatever way works for you as far as I am concerned.

I think the purpose of this forum is many different things to many different people. To say it is just for people who want to vent and discuss issues without censorship is, in my opinion, a bit shortsighted (no offense intended). I think people come here for fellowship, to talk to people they haven't seen in a while, to have fun, and to just banter. I think that is the reasons people come here but I have probably left a few out as well.

I come out here once in a while to see how people are doing and to chat. I am usually drawn to the threads on hurt because that was pretty much my experience in the UPC, all 19 years of it. The experiences I have most often spoken of have been generic, confusion about standards, being drawn into the culture and losing my own sense of perspective etc. I have talked about those things a lot over the years. I like to see how other people have dealt with issues and invariably I end up speaking a few things just because I feel like it. Then, I usually get bashed, told I am bitter and nursing a grudge and stuff like that. Hey, it feels like old times!!

But it reminds me why I left, why I stay gone and why I visit the forum infrequently.

But I come here for other reasons too. After living in the UPC for 19 years, somewhat insulated from certain segments of society and certain ideas, it feels like home and comfortable in a weird sort of way. Those who have left know what I mean. I come here to see old friends and chew the fat. I like to see how everyone is.

I have spoken very little about the lawsuit and the things I went through in the last church we were at. I wrote a book about it last summer. It helped me a lot to get it on paper.

Still, I haven't published it. Not because I think I would be grinding some ax if I did even though I would be accused of that.

I haven't because I don't know that I want to open those old wounds. I keep the book sealed because I come first now. I could probably put a lot of things into perspective for people if I published it. I'll publish it if I feel like it and I won't if I don't want to. End of story.

And, I'll come here and talk about whatever I want to whenever I want to. End of story.

But it's still somewhat home anyway.

It is still the main purpose as an offshoot of FCF. I don't think anyone is going to deny that.

I think you've spoken a great deal about your time in the UPC. And I'm not trying to be offensive either, but when do people move on and stop talking about their past? I have a friend who left the UPC and we never talk about her past. I guess when I wander outside of the political threads, I get myself in trouble because, it's easier for me to be blunt. I hate that about one of my sisters, but I see I am a good deal like her.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by CC1

Plus we are finding out now that on top of everything else Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter! The man never ceases to amaze me.

I didn't have any idea what you were talking about and had to look it up.

"Alas, Honest Abe's newly revealed line of work isn't going over so well with movie critics, many of whom are panning the film."

For the New York Times' Manohla Dargis, the best thing about "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" may be its title -- "it’s too bad someone had to spoil things by making a movie to go with it,"

"Kudos notwithstanding, it would seem Mr. Lincoln makes a better president than he does an action hero. Our advice: Don't quit your day job, Abe."

Stupid movie.

[HolyFire]

Originally Posted by ILG

Sadly, this is what I have seen too. Most people in the UPC I believe are good honest people who want to do what is right. However, what I find wrong in the movement in my experience was that when we saw basically what looked like misappropriation of funds when we took a church (to pastor) from a previous pastor (who had been on the district board) the district board's reaction was to push it away and pretend it did not exist, question us and not want to deal with it.

So, that pastor is still a preacher in the movement and was never dealt with during the time we were there. Also, because, I believe, of the district's refusal to do anything, our reputation was tarnished and people believed that we took money, which never happened and some of the people sued my husband and the church....(granted good Christian people would not do that)....but they were encouraged to do this and were told by the previous pastor that they had no choice but to sue us. Also, another preacher who was swayed by their story became their new "pastor".

The district board only supported us as little as possible during the lawsuit. They were as distanced from us as possible. They never called us. Never wanted to know how we were doing. When my husband showed up to a district board meeting with papers incriminating said preacher, the superintendent said he did not want to look at them. So, he never did.

Meanwhile, since we were new in the state, people went around and spread rumors about us far and wide as they drove past our house and night beeping the horn for weeks on end, forcing us to get little sleep and smashed out the headlights and taillights on my husband's truck and calling the police on him when he went into the church to get somethings out.

These things happened over the course of years. When we left there, we were so traumatized that I know I had PTSD. My husband could not hear when he woke up in the mornings for a while and he had cancer twice which I believe was at least partially caused by the stress.

When I tried to share these things and find some peace and healing, I was told I was bitter, looked at suspiciously, told I was nursing hurts and I was backslid. Meanwhile the previous pastor goes around preaching still.

So, yeah, I've seen it all and understand what you are saying. I have times when I grieve. Most of the time I feel okay after having been gone from there for seven years now. What a relief. I feel good with God.

So, abuse does exist no matter how much people try and pretend it doesn't. Pain does not go away just because someone pronounces you bitter for being beaten up. (I mean, how dare you get beaten up spiritually and emotionally!!)

The best thing I ever did was walk away.

I am sorry for all the people that we hurt too in the process of trying to make sense of what was happening. Innocent people were hurt when they did not understand our intentions or the battle we were fighting. But, we were unable to talk about it because the district would not deal with it which put us in a horrible position. We made mistakes but our intentions were always good.

And we did not steal or do any terrible thing. What we did was, we saw wrongdoing and we wanted the district board to look at it, guide us, deal with it and help us through how to deal with it and help the church heal. And because they would not, people were confused, including us. And the whole thing turned into a terrible mess.

So.....when people tell me I'm bitter or nursing a grudge or have an ax to grind or whatever, it annoys me but I don't really care all that much.

I know the truth. I know what happened. I know that people lied, cheated, stole and stuck their heads in the sand and then covered it up with scriptural platitudes.

I couldn't even talk about this for so long because I was so scared of these people. I am starting to talk a little though. I have healed a lot.

My heart is broken reading this. This is one reason I'll prolly never be liscensed UPC.

[ILG]

[QUOTE=Pressing-On;1170347]

Originally Posted by ILG

It is still the main purpose as an offshoot of FCF. I don't think anyone is going to deny that.

I think you've spoken a great deal about your time in the UPC. And I'm not trying to be offensive either, but when do people move on and stop talking about their past? I have a friend who left the UPC and we never talk about her past. I guess when I wander outside of the political threads, I get myself in trouble because, it's easier for me to be blunt. I hate that about one of my sisters, but I see I am a good deal like her.

If we were meeting in person, I would not talk to you about the UPC either because you are in it.

However, I spent 19 years in the UPC. So, it was more than just sort of my life. I never talk about it anywhere but here because no one at work has a clue and my extended family doesn't either. I mostly mention it in passing if at all. We don't talk about it much in my immediate family either except as it was a huge part of our lives for so many years. But, we have mostly moved on.

I come here and I see people still going through the same old things, same old pain, same old issues.

And it makes me sad. And so I speak.

So, I come here to feel at home and to speak of my years in the UPC and to see old friends, the every so often I come out here.

Just because I speak of it when I am here by no means makes it the focus of my life as you imply.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by HolyFire

My heart is broken reading this. This is one reason I'll prolly never be liscensed UPC.

I would recommend against it. If you want to be Apostolic, independent is the way to go IMO.

[Pressing-On]

[QUOTE=ILG;1170367]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

If we were meeting in person, I would not talk to you about the UPC either because you are in it.

However, I spent 19 years in the UPC. So, it was more than just sort of my life. I never talk about it anywhere but here because no one at work has a clue and my extended family doesn't either. I mostly mention it in passing if at all. We don't talk about it much in my immediate family either except as it was a huge part of our lives for so many years. But, we have mostly moved on.

I come here and I see people still going through the same old things, same old pain, same old issues.

And it makes me sad. And so I speak.

So, I come here to feel at home and to speak of my years in the UPC and to see old friends, the every so often I come out here.

Just because I speak of it when I am here by no means makes it the focus of my life as you imply.

I would absolutely love to meet you in person!!!

It's funny that anyone, as far as I've observed, can say whatever they want, but if they are in pain, like you and your husband's health issues, we will not hesitate to rally around that person with our prayers.

I guess were are like opposing political candidates in a way. After the race is over, they start campaigning for each other.

Okay, my DIL is coming with our new granddaughter. Time for me to hold her, little cutie. She looks just like our son.

[ILG]

[QUOTE=Pressing-On;1170370]

Originally Posted by ILG

I would absolutely love to meet you in person!!!

It's funny that anyone, as far as I've observed, can say whatever they want, but if they are in pain, like you and your husband's health issues, we will not hesitate to rally around that person with our prayers.

I guess were are like opposing political candidates in a way. After the race is over, they start campaigning for each other.

Okay, my DIL is coming with our new granddaughter. Time for me to hold her, little cutie. She looks just like our son.

Have fun with that little one.

[Margies3]

[QUOTE=ILG;1170343]

But I come here for other reasons too. After living in the UPC for 19 years, somewhat insulated from certain segments of society and certain ideas, it feels like home and comfortable in a weird sort of way. Those who have left know what I mean. I come here to see old friends and chew the fat. I like to see how everyone is.


But it's still somewhat home anyway.

ILG, you nailed it exactly. Coming here is kind of like coming home. I love my Apostolic friends - whether I agree with you or whether you agree with me, doesn't matter. I do respect you - conservative, liberal, ultra-conservative, whatever. We all came from the same roots and that makes us inter-twined whether we like it or not.

I was thinking about this - it's kind of like the fact that I like going home to my mother's (the home I grew up in). There's something about holding onto those roots. But that doesn't mean I want to live there anymore. So I love coming HOME here to visit my Apostolic family - but I don't care to live there anymore. Make sense?