Quote:
Originally Posted by houston
Everyday I live in fear, fear that I'm going to leave this life for the next. Things happened in my life a few yrs ago, and more stuff happened/is happening more recently that plays on this fear.
I have been in a constant game of cat and mouse for 5 yrs, and I'm not the cat.
Rather than turn to God, I hide from him. Something that was never an issue in my life is suddenly a major issue. Not for the typical reasons. It is an "escape."
My family and friends think I'm insane. I wish that was true because that would mean that what I've been going through isn't real. I don't even discuss it with any of them anymore.
If I had known that one bad decision would impact my life in such a negative way and I'd have surely reconsidered.
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Confession is step one. find a mentor/partner to help you through this, someone to be accountable to. The rest, you are going to have to live through all the bad seed (I assume, whether singular or plural) you've sown. I can promise you this, it will get better. Just live for, walk with and stay in communion with Jesus Christ.
Remember
Ephesians 5:13 "But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light."