Women Are Weird - Page 15

Pressing-On · #**141** 02-04-2013, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron

At my wife?

For shame!

I wasn't laughing at your wife! I was laughing at BT's comment. Get it right, so we don't have a huge blowout. Although that's the only time lots of people start viewing the forum.

BeenThinkin · #**142** 02-04-2013, 03:05 PM

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

He replied: "The drugs are wearing off!"

BT

Pressing-On · #**143** 02-04-2013, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Just heard on the news, the 5 year old that has been held in the bunker in Ala. is out and the kidnapper is dead! Thank God. We prayed for the little 5 year old yesterday at church.

Been Thinkin

Oh, that is good news! Poor little thing. Thanks for the update!!!

Pressing-On · #**144** 02-04-2013, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

He replied: "The drugs are wearing off!"

BT

Then she takes out the IV.

BeenThinkin · #**145** 02-04-2013, 03:08 PM

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's self-rising, isn't it?"

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.

"Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to seven."

He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"

BT

Pressing-On · #**146** 02-04-2013, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's self-rising, isn't it?"

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

Quote:

After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.

"Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to seven."

He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"

BT

BeenThinkin · #**147** 02-04-2013, 03:11 PM

Ron, this is for you you... or maybe for RandyWayne....

A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,

"Not anymore! ... He is!"

Been Thinkin

Ron · #**148** 02-04-2013, 03:19 PM

An elderly couple were sitting on the couch, watching TV.

She turns to Him and says, 'You know, I really fancy some of those strawberries we have in the fridge, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.'

As He starts to get up, she scolds and says, 'SIT DOWN..! You write it down..! You KNOW you get to the kitchen and forget why you went there..! Write it down..!'

'Honey,' he replies, 'I'm on it. I got it. Scoop of vanilla ice cream on a bowl of strawberries..!'

'We'll see..!' she said. ''Add some real cream on to and see if you can remember all that..!'

'Got-it..!' he said. Strawberries, ice cream and a splash of real cream..!' and off he goes to the kitchen.

Half an hour later, he comes back, carrying a plate of bacon and eggs....

''I KNEW it..!' she snapped. 'Where's the toast..?'

ForeverBlessed · #**149** 02-04-2013, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron

The womens side is missing some switches!

lol I agree... needs a lot more switches there..

good to see you Ron... I didn't put a connection to you earlier, did you add an avatar or have I been away too long? or am I too busy and didn't notice... knowing me it is... I've been home doing homework today.

Ron · #**150** 02-04-2013, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

lol I agree... needs a lot more switches there..

good to see you Ron... I didn't put a connection to you earlier, did you add an avatar or have I been away too long? or am I too busy and didn't notice... knowing me it is... I've been home doing homework today.

Added an Avatar! Recognize my bizarre sense of humour?