Women Are Weird - Page 16

Ron · #**151** 02-04-2013, 03:43 PM

Okay, one for the women.
How many men does it take to put down the toilet seat?

They don't know as it's never been done!

ForeverBlessed · #**152** 02-04-2013, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron

Added an Avatar! Recognize my bizarre sense of humour?

yes, yes... yes I do.

BeenThinkin · #**153** 02-04-2013, 04:30 PM

Marriage Tip ..... If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Been Thinkin

Pressing-On · #**154** 02-04-2013, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Marriage Tip ..... If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Been Thinkin

LOL!

BeenThinkin · #**155** 02-04-2013, 04:32 PM

Tattle Tale Wife

Man is speeding down the freeway when he's stopped by a police car and has to pull over. "Do you realize you were doing 80 m.p.h. in a 60 m.p.h. zone, sir?" asks the policeman.

"That's impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replies the driver.

The driver's wife butts in and says, "Yes, you do, I'm always telling you to keep your speed down."

The policeman says, "I also noticed, sir, that you didn't have your seat belt on. You put it on as I was walking over to your car."

That is not true, sir; I always wear my seat belt," replies the driver.

"No, you don't, I'm always telling you to put your seat belt on," says the driver's wife.

"Stupid woman," the driver explodes, "can't you, just for once, keep that big, fat trap of yours shut?"

The policeman is a bit shocked by how the driver is speaking to his wife, so he moves around to her side of the car. "Does he often speak to you like this, madam?"

"Oh, no, officer," she says, "only when he's drunk."

BT

AreYouReady? · #**156** 02-04-2013, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron

Okay, I am a lousy typest!

It's typist.

AreYouReady? · #**157** 02-04-2013, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Tattle Tale Wife

Man is speeding down the freeway when he's stopped by a police car and has to pull over. "Do you realize you were doing 80 m.p.h. in a 60 m.p.h. zone, sir?" asks the policeman.

"That's impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replies the driver.

The driver's wife butts in and says, "Yes, you do, I'm always telling you to keep your speed down."

The policeman says, "I also noticed, sir, that you didn't have your seat belt on. You put it on as I was walking over to your car."

That is not true, sir; I always wear my seat belt," replies the driver.

"No, you don't, I'm always telling you to put your seat belt on," says the driver's wife.

"Stupid woman," the driver explodes, "can't you, just for once, keep that big, fat trap of yours shut?"

The policeman is a bit shocked by how the driver is speaking to his wife, so he moves around to her side of the car. "Does he often speak to you like this, madam?"

"Oh, no, officer," she says, "only when he's drunk."

BT

BeenThinkin · #**158** 02-04-2013, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

It's typist.

Love it!

BT

AreYouReady? · #**159** 02-04-2013, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

AND you better get that first switch right the first time!

Yep!

AreYouReady? · #**160** 02-04-2013, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Ron.... who's that lady you're hugging in your avatar? If it's your wife you better quit posting the Women Are Weird posts. You couldn't do any better than that. She might... but not you!

Been Thinkin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

LOL! That's cold, BT.

Only another man can say that to another man. Women aren't allowed to.

Come to think of it, women could not say that to another woman without a cat fight.