Not Just A Mom

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Jeff and I married when I was only 18, and I got pregnant with Hannah just 3 months later and in my first semester of college (completely unplanned). I dropped out and I have to admit that I resented that whole situation for some time. Jeff was also young and immature as a husband, and had no idea how to support me through that

Just an FYI, I completely understand that. I was married at 19 and got pregnant 3 months later! My husband was 18 and not the epitome of mature. (understatement). For me, add to that that I just moved 800 miles away from home and got into the UPC, something my parents did not understand at all. I had no support from anyone, anywhere. It was really tough.

Additionally, FCF, NFCF and AFF have also helped, because they have allowed me to explore scripture in an intellectual way and truly put my brain to work.

I immersed myself in UPC literature for intellectual pursuits and then when the internet came out, I really delved into what I had wanted all along.....iron sharpening iron, something I could not find in my home church (for nine years!). Before that, I taught Bible studies all the time....the accepted approach to exposing myself to people's ideas.

I also stopped verbally defining myself as our "church music director" because I knew I was sometimes using that as my "cover story."

I was the co-pastor for 10 years but never called myself that. It was what my husband called me, and put on the sign. I never realized that as a conservative Christian mother and wife that I actually had a career......until we left, and there was this huge gaping hole. Because I just defined myself and a wife and mother. But in reality, I worked very hard all the time for the church. (And got paid nothing and it wasn't worth much on a resume when we left either.)

I'm often shocked at the lack of gentleness, patience and long-suffering when it comes to parenting the "Christian" way. We are to be as Christ-like in how we deal with our children as we are with our neighbors. This thread isn't about discipline, though, so I'll move on.

I wish I had been a better mother....much more gentle. My pastor said we were supposed to spank our kids and so I did....I should have been more gentle.

You seem like such a good Mom, Miss B.