You Can Fake It All

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

Thanks, Miss B. I really appreciate your post! Actually, while I was being repeatedly accused on this thread of hating UPC'ers and wanting to put them all into one box, you are one of the people I thought of. You are a very sincere, respectful person and are able to discuss issues without broad brushing everyone who has left or who posts on controversial topics as being bitter and hateful.

People ebb and flow. Healing ebbs and flows. People will talk and then box things up for a long time and then talk again sometime down the road when something makes them think of a subject. We all do this. This doesn't mean that because a person brings up a controversial topic years after they left that they are sitting at home sucking their thumb wondering how to get back at the evil church and people who hurt them. To the contrary, that would not be healthy at all. The whole point in this exercise is to discuss like iron sharpeneth iron. We can all gain and benefit from this.

That's very true, and I occasionally take my *things* out of the box and discuss them. (Usually with my husband.) I can't do it for long, though, because old feelings can come flying back and I don't want to live there. I don't know if that means I haven't truly gotten over the hurt or if it will always be that way, to an extent.

As to certain people who are lashing out. And I say this because it is coming from both directions, it isn't healthy or productive to lash out and call people names and belittle them. It is really, really frustrating to me when I want to discuss an issue and the whole topic degrades into nothing but a mud slinging session. I feel like the whole issue that needs to be discussed gets lost underneath piles and piles of manure. I usually try for a while and then, often walk away because it feels useless. Then, later on down the road, I bring it back up again, after getting my courage up from some life event or personal growth of some kind.

Posting on these topics can be totally emotionally draining, but it can also be rewarding in certain ways. The rewards never come from slamming someone or trying to make someone feel like they are less than. The rewards come when there is an understanding breakthrough from either or both sides. There is a difference between unity and uniformity. Those who press uniformity have a different goal than I do. My goal is unity. Unity comes from, not agreement, but from understanding and mutual respect.

Again, Miss B. Thank you very much.

Yes, and when we value people we strive to understand them and respect them. When I see people being mean, hostile, disrespectful, etc., it tells me they have devalued their "victim" in their minds. That, in and of itself, is unChristian, because every person matters to God.