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Originally Posted by MissBrattified
You guys discuss "abuse" at the hands of the UPC and I can come here and experience "abuse" at the hands of people who hate the UPC. The irony is rich. FTR, I've never felt that from ILG or Dichotomy Girl, and I do believe there's some benefit in analyzing issues and problems and not sweeping things under the proverbial rug. At the same time, there's not a lot of benefit from living in pain, and dwelling in past hurts is precisely that.
Both ILG and DG have presented some of the most difficult topics that I have ever considered, but they almost always do it with kindness and reason, and I appreciate that. That's respectful dialogue. Some people USE threads like theirs to express their hostility and they DO lump everyone together and it's hurtful. Others use every thread as an opportunity to mock, condescend and feel superior to Christians or conservative Apostolics. The trend that I see (judging from the narrow slice in this forum) is that people who have left the UPC end up being hateful, bitter, rude, dismissive, superior jerks, and it's very difficult for ME not to broad brush right back. The only thing that keeps me in check on that point is knowing that my thoughts aren't always rational and I have to continue to address people as individuals. ILG and DG are two of the people who remind me that not everyone is the same, not everyone is unpleasant, not everyone is filled with hate.
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Thank you very much for this. I've popped in at various times over the past years, but I came back recently because I've been struggling with the whole I want to take my daughter to church and my daughter allows it, and well, this was always where I came to discuss spiritual issues.
And there are some great people that are still here, but I confess, I miss many of the old faces, those who I might have vehemently disagreed with, and shocked, but always with love. It makes me sad, but I guess, seasons change....
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissBrattified
That's very true, and I occasionally take my *things* out of the box and discuss them. (Usually with my husband.) I can't do it for long, though, because old feelings can come flying back and I don't want to live there. I don't know if that means I haven't truly gotten over the hurt or if it will always be that way, to an extent.
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People are different, and have different struggles, and heal differently. But I can say that for me, the emotional component is completely gone. (I can still see some things academically as being bad or hurtful or unhealthy, etc, but the negative emotions are no longer there), and that has freed me to see things more clearly.
We all know that emotions can overwhelm, so for a long time all I could see/remember was the bad. But the past 5 years have given me clarity, and I can see the good things that came out of my experiences, the blessings, the strengthening of character, and that it put me on my current path, with a daughter I never thought I would have, and a husband I love more than anything.
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