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As an adopted child I can just tell you that all of them I have ever known (thats a lot too) that it has been kept from for any amount of time were more bitter at their adoptive parents for not telling them sooner. I think young is better personally and everyone I have ever delt with agrees. This may not be the thing for everyone but there is usually no reason not to tell...
Yes sometimes the circumstances can be bad... you dont have to tell them that anyways! All that needs to be said is... they did what they felt was best for you! Its an always heard answer and it is almost always the truth! Mine was the worst of circumstances yet I was told this my entire life... I grew up with absolutely not hate towards my bio mom whatsoever! I hurt yes! Who doesnt but I did not hate her ... I had a lot of questions but no hate.
I was fortunate enough to meet my biological mother and many of my siblings a couple of years ago and I wouldnt trade them OR my real parents for anything!
All that to say.... I was told the first time the day I was brought home from the hospital and until the day I could understand,,,, Then it was explained... I was maybe 6.
NEVER keep what you know about their parents from them... the minute you feel they are old enough to understand tell them! If you know who and where and why tell them! Keeping these things will kill them on the inside. The hardest part was when I found out my cousin was the nurse who delivered me and knew everything and kept it from me all those years... I think I hated her more than the fact that I was adopted!
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