Quote:
Originally Posted by AmazingGrace
As an adopted child I can just tell you that all of them I have ever known (thats a lot too) that it has been kept from for any amount of time were more bitter at their adoptive parents for not telling them sooner. I think young is better personally and everyone I have ever delt with agrees. This may not be the thing for everyone but there is usually no reason not to tell...
Yes sometimes the circumstances can be bad... you dont have to tell them that anyways! All that needs to be said is... they did what they felt was best for you! Its an always heard answer and it is almost always the truth! Mine was the worst of circumstances yet I was told this my entire life... I grew up with absolutely not hate towards my bio mom whatsoever! I hurt yes! Who doesnt but I did not hate her ... I had a lot of questions but no hate.
I was fortunate enough to meet my biological mother and many of my siblings a couple of years ago and I wouldnt trade them OR my real parents for anything!
All that to say.... I was told the first time the day I was brought home from the hospital and until the day I could understand,,,, Then it was explained... I was maybe 6.
NEVER keep what you know about their parents from them... the minute you feel they are old enough to understand tell them! If you know who and where and why tell them! Keeping these things will kill them on the inside. The hardest part was when I found out my cousin was the nurse who delivered me and knew everything and kept it from me all those years... I think I hated her more than the fact that I was adopted!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Alvear
We told our adopted ones from the very beginning and I personally think it is best...I know many factors are involved and many have different opinions. I love my adopted ones just as much as I love Raul Jr and feel no difference in my heart between them and Raul Jr.
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As an adopted child (by my dad), I always knew I was adopted and am thankful my parents never hid it from me. I was 25 before I started researching my biological father's side of the family. He had been killed in a tractor trailer accident after my dad had adopted me. Everyone wants to know a little about their family history and the adopted child needs to know as well. It WILL help them understand some of their tendencies and traits.
My dad and mother brought me to see my biological grandmother before she passed.
I knew of a similar situation--biological mother, adopted dad--where the child was approaching his teen years and the parents still hadn't told him. They have never found "a good time" to tell him.
Tell them when they are young. It's much easier. Furthermore, I have heard countless stories where an aunt, uncle, grandmother, older sibling, etc. "spilled the bean" before the parents found that "good time" to tell the child themselves.
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