For those who want to know...RULES at my church!

when someone forgives an abuser, any abuser, in or out of the church setting, that still does not erase the memory. there is only one person that can forgive and forget, God. as a human we do not have access to that "sea of forgetfulness" that so many want us to use.

i really think this is why many that have been abused have so much trouble finding healing, because we still remember, so therefore we must have not really forgiven that person.

but i do know, had it not been for my pain, and the things i have gone through, i would not have the insight i have now. i can show mercy to those who have been abused because i "know" their pain. i would have rather not walked in those shoes, but at least now i can use my experience to understand the next abused person i run across.

because now, i can look at what someone says, and i dont have to say things like, "i know that cant happen in the church" or "can you show me proof?" or "you need to just get over it and go on with your life".

sometimes the things we say, out of ignorance, can do far more damage than the actual abuse.