Divorce in the church

[GodsBabyGirl]

Originally Posted by Berkeley

Sis Wenona,

Not to change the topic, but I heard that the 'down low' is very common in the black community, and the men justify it because they are still with their wives or girlfriends.
Why do you think they would find it an acceptable practice, and yet not label themselves as gay or bisexual?

-berk

In my opinion, it is all about coverup and being in denial. Most black men are not in touch with their feelings.

For a man to be married, or appear to be so, to the world or church, to a woman but he is having relations with another man...

That man doesn't want to come to terms with what he is dealing with. I hate to make this a black or white issue, but black men I feel are masters of being in denial about a lot of things.

If a black boy grows up having an attraction to other boys, he'll be called names and beat up. So in order to avoid this, he puts on this show for his boys.

But the attraction is still there...and sooner or later the opportunity to 'explore' will present itself.

He enjoys it a little too much and this disturbs him. So he gotta put on more of a front. In the black community, gays still get beat up. So when these boys 'grow up,' they think if they put up the front, don't admit to the attraction/perversion, and try to hide or cover it up, then it would go away.

Especially if they marry what they term a 'freak' or a very attractive, sexy lady. They think she can turn him around, if you know what I mean.

But deliverance doesn't come from being with a freak....

Deliverance first comes when you are ready to deal and tell the truth. Not when you cover up sin.

And they think it is okay to cover up and live a lie because it repulses and excites them all at the same time. And they know that in some circles they will get jacked/beat up. Not to mention some women I know will physically hurt if someone went down low on them.

Mix all that up with church leadership and you got yourself a hot mess!

And all the more reason for a down low brother to remain just that....down low.....

It is a sad state to be in if you ask me.

I thank God for deliverance!

Also...because so many of our men are incarcerated. Men raping men is always happening in jail. They spread HIV/AIDS around to each other then come out and either keep up relations with other men-on the down low-or hook up with a naive woman who finds out that he has given her the virus....

So I think the rate of our incarceration has something to do with the growth of this phenomena....again, my personal opinion....

Love
Sis Wenona

[berkeley]

Sis Wenona,

I'd like to thank you for such a thorough post. What you had to say makes so much sense. I almost got a freak, once. So, I know what you are referring to. I politely declined to participate.

Again, thanks for the post.

[Sister Alvear]

good to see you posting, wenona...blessings to you.

[Thad]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

I believe Thad was referring to Bishop1. However, I may be wrong.

Nonetheless thank you for a compassionate Christ-like post.

I don't think you can be stoned for your statements ... they are based in the Word and the love of our Lord.

I meant Bishop1 yes (NOT Bishopn)

Bishop1 believes that if you get a divorice you are going to Hell.
I am just stating what HE believes(not Thad)

I know a church that teaches it's members to shun anyone who's ever been divoriced or remarried. I have a friend who attends and she said it makes her heart ache for these people.

[Trouvere]

Sister Wenona,
Don't forget where I live.lol.Sorry I missed the call.

[Trouvere]

I work at a jail so I know what Wenona is saying to be true.There are however some flamers out there.The HIV rate in prisons is very high.I have
never given so much medicine in my life.The expense of it is horrible.Some of these meds are eight hundred a card or bottle.That shocks me.

[SDG]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

this thread has been such a good discussion.I was in a conversation with a pastor friend yesterday and the topic was that a certain minister was not allowed all the privilages all the other ministers in a certain church had because he had been divorced and remarried even though it was not his fault.This minister was given alot of responsibilities in the church and promised things but when another minister came to help in this work who had never been divorced he was chosen to take over the higher position.The first brother who had been divorced though it was not his fault was punished by
being pushed aside due to having a divorce in his past..I thought this was so harsh.

Awful ... if this is the entire reason ... DISGUSTING.

Yet I would not be surprised.

[Thad]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

Awful ... if this the entire reason ... DISGUSTING.

Yet I would not be surprised.

I'm not surprised by it in the least.

[Trouvere]

I agree that is sad.Even the catholic churches offer classes to those preparing for marriage and view it as a sacrament.Its sad that people who don't believe in divorce aren't doing more to the cause of long term marriage.
My pastor does have a continual class going that all the married folks attend for Sunday School.The older adults have a class in the main auditorium and
the singles and new converts have their own classes.I am thankful that I go to a place that wants to help you make it to heaven in victory.

[Rhoni]

He's My Friend & Trouvere,

Great posts and it is true...we need prevntative care instead of just spending our ministry putting out fires. God has given us the tools; we just need to implement them. Unfortunately this calls for a paradigm change.

Blessings, Rhoni