I know what it's like to have trust issues, too. It's taken me the 38 years I've been alive to learn to (or allow myself - or make myself) trust Jesus. I, too, have had bad experiences with authority figures in my life - in and out of church; parents, step-parents, relatives, boss, teacher, a pastor, "friends". As a result, I couldn't trust Jesus either. Believe me, I tried!
But then I got to a place in my life where Jesus was the ONLY one I could trust. He was it. I finally discovered that Jesus is the only one who had my best interest at heart - always; despite what I could see from my skewed perception. HE was the only one who was always available, who always loved me, who I could always trust. My pain and fear drove me to Him. I had no choice. I felt alone - I felt betrayed. Those I trusted hurt me. Those I thought cared about me used me. What choice(s) in life did I have left??
Normally, I would have secluded myself, trusted no one, pushed everyone away, became angry - perhaps bitter; but for some reason... it was like it was suddenly clear to me -- I realized that I had JESUS! Since then, the hurt has lessened. And though I can't say that I have a lot of trust in people; I don't have that same fear anymore. Now I **KNOW** (heart-knowledge; not just head-knowledge) that Jesus is FOR me! It's a GREAT place to be - in that knowledge.
HE'S GOOD! Don't give up on trying to fully trust Him. My life's still not perfect. It probably never will be. But that's okay, as long as I have Jesus! Because, again, He's FOR me. He's for YOU as well! I pray that this FACT will become heart-knowledge for you, too.
I know you didn't post this to me or for me, but it spoke volumes. Someday I hope to apply the above to my life as you have done.
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
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