Living Arrangements

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

I think perhaps the man in a given relationship needs to draw the lines at what he is comfortable with and the woman should not cross these boundaries. This may be a different line in different relationships. I think it is too narrow a statement to say that any woman in any pre-marriage relationship should never allow a man to put his arm around her on a couch watching a movie because he is too sexual and can't take it.

I agree, and I don't recall saying that a man shouldn't put his arm around a woman while watching a movie. Rhoni specifically mentioned "touching", kissing and neck nuzzling. That sounds a little more hands on than "arm around the shoulders."

They are pretty rudimentary with the exception of the fact that I find too much blame placed on women for being a "tease" and not enough responsibility on men to control themselves and draw boundary lines. If women know men are sexual and shouldn't be a "tease", men also know women can be affectionate without meaning to be sexual and don't always intend to "tease". This is also rudimentary knowledge. Perhaps I am looking for a better balanced approach for both men and women. If Rhoni finds herself a guy who wants to sit with his arm around her on a couch before marriage and he thinks he can handle that, that's his business and Rhoni's. I'm not going to over-sexualize that. On the flip-side, for young people and teens, warnings need to be sounded. Don't do what you can't handle.

I generally agree. From a secular point of view, men seem to expect women to sleep with them on the first or second date.

From a Christian point of view, though, the courtesy needs to go in both directions. I'm not blaming women for the bad behavior of men, nor am I going to excuse bad behavior in women just because I am one.

As for young people--"fleeing" youthful lusts is like a great idea. Undeveloped self control, maturity, and good judgment coupled with hormones run amuck can be a deadly combination.