Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Steinway
I have a similar situation with my mother. When it was apparent that mother could no longer live by herself because of worsening Parkinson's disease, my sister offered for mom to live with her family.
It worked for awhile, but soon became apparent that mom's needs required professional help. To make a long story short, mom agreed to live in an assisted living complex.
Now the problem! The complex called me the other day and told me they will give a 30 day notice for mom to move out, if mom falls one more time! You see, mom is pretty much relegated to a wheel chair, but she thinks she can do things that only require a few steps. (e.g. getting the Kleenex off the dresser )
If they kick her out, the only recourse left is a nursing home! None of the kid's homes is wheelchair friendly. (e.g. In my home, all of the bedrooms are upstairs)
More than being wheelchair friendly is the 24/7 need to have people around her that have the skills to meet her needs. All of us work, and our spouses also work.
There is something about that generation that thinks being put in a nursing home is like being put out to pasture as far as the family is concerned. Me? I don't want my children to have to sacrifice their time with their family and extend extra effort just to meet my needs when I get where I need professional help to get by. (spoon feed, bathe, change clothes, clean up, administer medicine, etc.)
I know that such effort can be extremely stressful on a marriage!
Don't get me wrong! I will want family to visit or call on a regular basis!  |
PM, nursing homes when your mom was your age was NOT a place to put your parents unless you hated their guts. They were filthy, smelled horrible, and people went there to die and did so rather quickly. I know this because I worked at them. The difference from then and today is like east from west.
Today, nursing homes are turning into rehab centers. They are clean with homelike atmospheres. There are constant activities and the state keeps them in line with hefty fines for neglect and such.
If you have to go this route, check out nursing home options. They are required to make available to you their last state survey results. Don't let their violations scare you, as most are pretty petty things. See if they've been fined for a neglect issue, wrongful death, and other such pertinent info and their plan to make sure it doesn't happen again. That info will be in the survey.
Present your mom with the info when you find a nice facility for her. Also check to see if she can get a private room with her insurance, if she desires. Nursing homes are pretty good at comparing personalities of roommates also so she won't be in the same room as someone who moans and cries all night.
If I can help you further, let me know. I don't know nursing homes in TN, but I hope they have changed also.
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