EA,
Wow. I appreciate you sharing this. I think I can relate to your experiences quite well. I too was brought up with special speakers who were “professors” on Christian Rock, Hard Rock, and Heavy Metal. One in particular presented slide shows with reflections and images of a demon looking out from the screen of a television set, (supposedly after the power had been turned off) and records that played demonic messages in reverse.
Fear. The only literature promoted for the young people back then, was “Turmoil in the Toy Box,” the Bible, or whatever else speakers happened to mention as good Christian reads. Of course, when one particular evangelist mentioned that he liked Louis LÁmour, (it was part of his sermon) he told the story apologetically, as if reading Westerns was borderline sinful.
I also remember our youth group watching a film on the rapture. We were discouraged from watching even Disney films, but somehow, this film made the cut. I remember the fear. Kids were writhing on the floor, wailing and weeping. “Don’t leave us behind!” “Don’t send us to hell God!” Then there was youth camp. Looking back now, it seemed like indoctrination designed exclusively for the youth. There was always an expectation for that one night of “fear fest.” Experiences and stories of youth dying in horrible car wrecks after rejecting the pleading preacher to pray or leaving service during alter call. Fear. I don’t wish to portray that part of my childhood as all bad, but those are the emotions and feelings that I remember the most from those days.
My decision to attend college thrilled my parents, but in the culture of our church, it was something that had to be done with a great deal of caution, as if I might not make it out believing in God anymore.
Fear. I brought home questions about evolution to an elder in our church (he worked as a scientist). I can recall him rebuking me for engaging in debates, when I should have been a “good soldier,” teaching more bible studies instead. At that point, I began to reject the fear and pressure to “do what your told,” and began to search out truth for myself. I can’t believe that God enjoyed this environment, which led to such an unbalanced perception of him, and life in general. In some ways I think I have become hardened inside. I’m not sure, but I know I don’t want that for my (future) children.
To be fair, I will say that I did have good times. I was born again in this assembly. I met and married my wife. I gained a great deal of knowledge about God’s word. But the constant, even up until my wife and I decided to quit attending, was fear. Fear if we left “The Ship.” Fear that if we left, or thought for ourselves, we were somehow rejecting God’s will for our lives.
Fear…
D4T, did you start this thread around (10-31-09) intentionally? I never did like Halloween…
One of my favorites: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7.
Threaded Mode
