Ever Felt Like....

[jfrog]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

?? When you were a Christian?

The fact is our feelings are predictably unreliable. It is most always wise to second guess what you "feel" is the will of God at any given time.

Much better to add scripture, prayerful study and wise counsel to a decision.

I thought it was common knowledge that I wasn't a Christian? I guess not.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

...
But, don't forget the conclusion......

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

Job 42:12 So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.
...

and the last verse in the Book of Job says:
"So Job died, being old and full of days: and it is written that he will rise again with those whom the Lord raises up" (Job 42:17)

speaking of Job, some times I sing this unto the Lord as an affirmation of my faith. It is an old song called Job's God is True

Verse One:
............I can feel.....the hand of Satan.......
............As the temper....tries me sore.....
............He has been before the Father.......
............Asking leave....to tempt me more....
............
The Chorus:
............Though God slay me....yet I'll trust Him....
............I shall then.....come forth as gold.....
............And I know...that He still liveth.....
............For I feel....Him in my soul.......
............
Verse Two:
............I can hear the Father grant it........
............Saying do not touch his life.....
............Though you crush him He'll not falter....
............He will rise....above the strife....
............
Verse Three:
............Though I struggle....some times stagger....
............By His grace....I'll make it through....
............For His grace....is sufficient....
............And I know....His Word is true....
............
Verse Four:
............When I've looked....all around me......
............And His face....I cannot see....
............Then I know that through the lattice........
............He beholdeth even me......
............
The Chorus:
............Though God slay me....yet I'll trust Him....
............I shall then.....come forth as gold.....
............And I know...that He still liveth.....
............For I feel....Him in my soul.......
............Tag
............For I know...that He still liveth.....
............And I feel Him in my soul......

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by jfrog

I thought it was common knowledge that I wasn't a Christian? I guess not.

Perhaps I did know and forgot?

I am sorry.

I don't believe your mistake was being Christian.

There are misguided Christians who do look to emotions etc for direction - yes. But an even greater percentage of non-Christians and non-practicing Christians have sensory antenna tuned for any possible "supernatural" activity through astrology, spirit guides, ghosts, meditation etc.

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by jfrog

I think that you wanted to be closer to God and I think that you will have that...

There's actually alot of great lessons in your story...

You offered your house to God. He took it and may not give it back. That's a great lesson in itself. Don't offer God something that you really don't want him to take.

You misunderstand.

I offered it to Him and I believed His answer was that He would let me keep it.

This was not just confirmed by an emotional feeling and high! The bank confirmed this too!

They helped redo my last loan modification in March 2010 when they sold it December 2009!!!


The only good news in this is that the bank is telling me that they are attempting to get my modification approved-- which is so confusing because the sale that happened in Decmber 2009 was ratified in May 2010.

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

Perhaps I did know and forgot?

I am sorry.

I don't believe your mistake was being Christian.

There are misguided Christians who do look to emotions etc for direction - yes. But an even greater percentage of non-Christians and non-practicing Christians have sensory antenna tuned for any possible "supernatural" activity through astrology, spirit guides, ghosts, meditation etc.

Well I really thought I wasn't misguided in my decision to make God first in my life.

When I lost my job in DC, I worked for another company who ended up not even paying me!

I was going to a Trinitarian church where the Pastor had lied to me about how he performed baptisms

I did what I thought was best for trying to get closer to the Lord because it seemed like everything I touched was going bad.

So I really didn't think I was flying willy nilly by the seat of my pants by emotions.


I really thought I had made the right decisions.

I admit, I didn't.

I made a whole lot of mistakes apparently, but I thought I was careful to not be going strictly on emotions.

I really thought I was in His will.


So what should I have done-- gone overseas to work like my first thoughts and idea once I realized that I had lost my job?

It sure makes a lot of sense now....


But what about faith?

What about trusting God?

What about not leaning to my own understanding?


There are A THOUSAND things I could have done throughout my short time here that were under my own control that I did not do becaue I did not lean to my own understanding.


I am not a good example of a Christian-- nothing in my life speaks good example of a Christian. My car has no insurance because I don't have the money. My DL is suspended, but I have to drive to work and church. I don't even believe like my church any more. There's hardly anyone there that I trust and the people I do trust are too busy. Hardly anyone there knows me, but if they did they really wouldn't want me around them anyway as I realize more and more that people don't want you to be real becaue then they would have to be real. My life is a sham and I'm not as sad as much as I am determined to make things make sense. Yet there is a deep sense of regret. There's been so much that I've had no control of and so much that I have and again, I let it get fouled up.




So then there is the scriptural concept of being still and trusting God.

Yet I think I need to do something-- be more proactive and do what I can to fix this mess that I have allowed to fester.


I've made poor decisions.

I'm not as close to God as I need to be or I would have seen this coming and then done something about it.

And I could have done something about it, but somehow I thought that was not His will.

I'm not quitting. My God and Savior has never failed me, I think I've just been given a bum scoop on living life.


Maybe I didn't mis-hear God, but I think I did and I think I'm just plain deceived.

Time will tell.


So much for stability.....

[Jermyn Davidson]

Bye AFF.

I'm not a good Apostolic, not a good Christian-- never really was as I've yet to master my thought life.


It's best that I just stop now.

[Mirth1981]

This may sound like a reach but your situation reminds me of the story of Joseph. Like you, he had good intentions and did his best to serve the Lord. And like your current situation, he suffered great hardships in spite of his sincerity. It took many years for his suffering to make any type of sense. Yet in the midst of it all, the Bible repeatedly says that the Lord was with him. I believe that the Lord is with you as well, regardless of what is happening in your life. I hope you don't let this trial crush your faith in God.

[Isaiah]

You should read once again through the post I put up on "the suffferings of Paul." Most dnt understand that trials is a part of our life in Christ.

[Coffee99]

Jermyn, sometimes we all need to step back for a bit. I don't post often, but read when I can and exchange messages with one of the members here. There are times when someone will post something or my friend will say something that is exactly what I need at that moment. The last two years have been the toughest of my life - and sometimes, something would be said on AFF that helped pick me up for a bit.

You know by now that there are many kinds of posters on AFF - that's what makes it effective, perhaps. Some are conservative Christians, some are liberal Christians, some would say that others aren't Christian at all. We all have a place here - and as a member of the AFF community, you will receive the prayers of the others here. Sometimes when we find ourselves in the biggest pickles, it it an amazing help to have others to be there to talk with, to pray with you and to pray for you. I hope you don't let your current situation deprive you of that community.

Please remember that no matter how you classify yourself right at this moment, you are a child of His. We all have times when we "aren't a good Christian." That's what makes His love and His grace even more amazing!

[Isaiah]

Praying for you buddy.