need to talk:discouraged after hear preaching

[Krt]

not sure where to post this... i have seen other posts about upci and not sure if anyone in one has talked about this somewhere else...

I need to know if anyone else has felt like this... and I mention upci because its all I've been to. I don't know if its just me (maybe I am just spiritually attacked and taking it the wrong way & condemning myself?) but even the other nite I listened to preaching online... it was called the sin of silence...

I feel like most of the messages I hear I leave feeling discouraged, that I am never doing enough, that I can't live up to it...

I also want to bring up I was seeing a christian counselor last yr (not in our organization) and he was trying to tell me my identity in christ... I don't know how to say this... I know we are talking about the same God but it was like I wanted to know his God, he had a loving God and the God I have come to know is just always saying its never enough... Other people in my church seem happy and not feeling this way so am I just beating myself up?

the thing is too, if the church would talk of His acceptance and love for me I would want to do so much more and would walk with so much more joy rather than feel defeated. I'm actually like that on my job too, where if they say positive feedback I tend to want to work hard and vice versa...

Does anyone know what messages I am talking about? Am I taking it to heart too much/ the wrong way...
I just want to know who He is and not be confused... I read in another post someone put it so well, the feeling like you aren't living up to it.. and never good enough...