need to talk:discouraged after hear preaching

[Apocrypha]

Originally Posted by Krt

not sure where to post this... i have seen other posts about upci and not sure if anyone in one has talked about this somewhere else...

I need to know if anyone else has felt like this... and I mention upci because its all I've been to. I don't know if its just me (maybe I am just spiritually attacked and taking it the wrong way & condemning myself?) but even the other nite I listened to preaching online... it was called the sin of silence...

I feel like most of the messages I hear I leave feeling discouraged, that I am never doing enough, that I can't live up to it...

I also want to bring up I was seeing a christian counselor last yr (not in our organization) and he was trying to tell me my identity in christ... I don't know how to say this... I know we are talking about the same God but it was like I wanted to know his God, he had a loving God and the God I have come to know is just always saying its never enough... Other people in my church seem happy and not feeling this way so am I just beating myself up?

the thing is too, if the church would talk of His acceptance and love for me I would want to do so much more and would walk with so much more joy rather than feel defeated. I'm actually like that on my job too, where if they say positive feedback I tend to want to work hard and vice versa...

Does anyone know what messages I am talking about? Am I taking it to heart too much/ the wrong way...
I just want to know who He is and not be confused... I read in another post someone put it so well, the feeling like you aren't living up to it.. and never good enough...

Its because of one word that has multiple translations in English. That word is hagiazo: ἁγιάζω. The word is at times used by the translators as holiness (which in the bible is a state of being or something set aside as clean for God) and at other times it is used as sanctification, which is a process.

What you are describing is something that nearly every UPCI member feels at sometime or another. They sadly discover in daily living that they cannot get to a special state with God where they feel 100% pure/clean/holy no matter how much they try. They look at the preachers who put on a good show of it, or the super saints who seem to have found happiness... but you yourself struggle to make it real like that from your perspective.

That is where grace and the sanctification process come in. What you need to do more than anything is understand the biblical meaning of the word grace. Not the "believe one time and your saved forever" usage of grace... which cheapens it... but the active forgiveness, love and favor of god as you grow and become closer to his ideal for you over time (the sanctification process).

The problem is that you have the perception that you have not achieved a state of holiness and you have failed God in some way. The truth is that God is working a process in you, and as long as you are in active relationship with him and continuing to renew yourself daily in action, prayer, and mindset... you are in effect sanctified, justified and made holy through that relationship where you receive Gods grace and love.