How to enjoy church? - Page 4

missourimary · #31 10-26-2010, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Get you an iPad! You can download the Bible and a Solitaire game. If a deacon walks by flip to the Bible. If things get boring, flip to Solitaire! j/k

BT

Volunteer to operate the screen the words project on. I know one person who would do that and play Farmville on the computer system--thankfully he never accidentally ran Farmville onto the screen.

Timmy · #32 10-26-2010, 11:05 AM

Top Ten Ways to Enjoy Church

10. From a distance.

9. Imagine the preacher wearing a Peewee Herman mask.

8. Say "amen!" at inappropriate times.

7. Keep glancing at the person behind you, with a paranoid look on your face.

6. Start a "wave".

5. Raise your hand and ask to be excused to use the rest room, at least five times.

4. Sing way louder than anyone around you, and slightly off key.

3. Wear a Storm Trooper costume.

2. Take notes in pig latin.

And the number one way to enjoy church:

1. BYOB!

scotty · #33 10-26-2010, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timmy

Top Ten Ways to Enjoy Church

10. From a distance.

9. Imagine the preacher wearing a Peewee Herman mask.

8. Say "amen!" at inappropriate times.

7. Keep glancing at the person behind you, with a paranoid look on your face.

6. Start a "wave".

5. Raise your hand and ask to be excused to use the rest room, at least five times.

4. Sing way louder than anyone around you, and slightly off key.

3. Wear a Storm Trooper costume.

2. Take notes in pig latin.

And the number one way to enjoy church:

1. BYOB!

Aquila · #34 10-26-2010, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timmy

Top Ten Ways to Enjoy Church

10. From a distance.

9. Imagine the preacher wearing a Peewee Herman mask.

8. Say "amen!" at inappropriate times.

7. Keep glancing at the person behind you, with a paranoid look on your face.

6. Start a "wave".

5. Raise your hand and ask to be excused to use the rest room, at least five times.

4. Sing way louder than anyone around you, and slightly off key.

3. Wear a Storm Trooper costume.

2. Take notes in pig latin.

And the number one way to enjoy church:

1. BYOB!

RandyWayne · #35 10-26-2010, 11:21 AM

15. Bring a camera with you and go wild snapping pictures of everyone and everything during the entire service. Immediately after wards, go home and post the most embarrassing on your Facebook page.

14. Hold a notebook and pen and occasionally write in it while staring at other people. Use a disapproving look as you do it.

13. During song service, hold a cigarette lighter or candle, lit of course, and wave it back and forth above your head. Holding a glass bottle of coke in the other hand during this is optional.

12. Say "mmmmmm, excuse me..." in a voice just loud enough for those within a 10-15 foot radius to hear. Do it again at quarter hour intervals.

11. Bring in a foot-long Subway sub (doesn't matter what kind) and 32 oz drink and start eating when everyone is finally seated. Don't worry about about the sound the wrapper and straw makes, people will understand.

Timmy · #36 10-26-2010, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

15. Bring a camera with you and go wild snapping pictures of everyone and everything during the entire service. Immediately after wards, go home and post the most embarrassing on your Facebook page.

14. Hold a notebook and pen and occasionally write in it while staring at other people. Use a disapproving look as you do it.

13. During song service, hold a cigarette lighter or candle, lit of course, and wave it back and forth above your head. Holding a glass bottle of coke in the other hand during this is optional.

12. Say "mmmmmm, excuse me..." in a voice just loud enough for those within a 10-15 foot radius to hear. Do it again at quarter hour intervals.

11. Bring in a foot-long Subway sub (doesn't matter what kind) and 32 oz drink and start eating when everyone is finally seated. Don't worry about about the sound the wrapper and straw makes, people will understand.