How do you deal with a gay friend?

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by LifeUncommon

How do you deal with a fellow Christian who is gay?

The Bible is clear that this is sin. And I have a feeling that the conversation of "if this is sinful, why did God make me gay?" is going to come up soon. And I want to handle it rightly.

Has anyone else been through this before? Any tips? Speaking in love and directly from the Bible are in my arsenal now. I just want to make really sure that if/when the conversation comes up, I handle it with love and the right spirit.

I DID NOT read this whole thread, but I would like to give you what I have done. My two roommates are a gay male couple. They live as a heterosexual married couple would. They are both believers in Christ and have their own realtionships with Him.

Here is exactly how I have handled it with them. I have invited them into my life, my home and loved the UNCONDITIONALLY. They are treated no differently than if they were heterosexual men and my best friends. There is a clear line one must draw about morality. I know how I feel about human rights, marriage included. I know how I feel about homosexuality too. Neither of the feelings I have, whether I be for same-sex marriage or against or whether I feel homosexuality is a sin or not, does not affect the fact that I MUST love people.

It is MY OWN experience that homosexuality will only be an issue between you and your openly gay friend if, and ONLY IF, you allow it to be an issue. I promise you that your friend would not choose to be gay if he or she didnt feel they were. No one would purposely choose to be outcast & hated - in some areas of the country. This person is a friend to you for a reason... don't let anything change that. Trust me, God doesn't care if your friend is gay anymore than He cares if you are straight. He just cares that you show forth Him, God is love - yes? Show people love for He is love.

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by scotty

JD has seperated the difference in a sinner that professes no salvation and one who is professing to be saved and yet still live in sin. He is right.

Some here are bashing his opinion by lumping the two together.

Yet the same ones are also quick to point out that we are all sinners

If no sin is greater than another, then how do you respond under different circumstances ?

Why is it 'ok' if the person's sin is homosexualilty?

Would you continue to befriend and fellowship in love with one who proclaims they are a pedophile and saved?

A sex addict and saved?

A poligamist and saved?

A murder and saved? (people kill in the name of Jesus or because "God told them to")

Compulsive liar and saved?

One who lives in sin and argues that they are still within the will of God and are redeemed while living in sin should be cut off.

I don't see where some of you can use Jesus as an example in this scenerio.

The closest scriptural situation where Jesus faced sinners who believed they were within the will of God is the Pharasees, and we know how he treated them.

Originally Posted by Hoovie

The key is whether or not they are justifying their sin and saying God approves.

Do either of you love your children any less because of what they do or who they are? (presuming you both have children, Hoovie I know you have 17 lol) The answer I would imagine would be "no." Love is, or should be, unconditional. I understand there are sometimes situations that can cause people to step across that "thin line between love and hate." But generally, if you love someone you love them forever. I may be naive, but that is how I work. I love forever. Romantic love my go away, but the love & care doesn't - though is converts itself a bit.

Love, or loving a person inspite of their faults is at the very least tolerance, which is NOT an unhealthy thing, but love & tolerance aren't saying "I agree you are right, or okay, or even going to heaven." Love is just love...not a sign of agreement, but a sign of acceptance.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by Jack Shephard

I DID NOT read this whole thread, but I would like to give you what I have done. My two roommates are a gay male couple. They live as a heterosexual married couple would. They are both believers in Christ and have their own realtionships with Him.

Here is exactly how I have handled it with them. I have invited them into my life, my home and loved the UNCONDITIONALLY. They are treated no differently than if they were heterosexual men and my best friends. There is a clear line one must draw about morality. I know how I feel about human rights, marriage included. I know how I feel about homosexuality too. Neither of the feelings I have, whether I be for same-sex marriage or against or whether I feel homosexuality is a sin or not, does not affect the fact that I MUST love people.

It is MY OWN experience that homosexuality will only be an issue between you and your openly gay friend if, and ONLY IF, you allow it to be an issue. I promise you that your friend would not choose to be gay if he or she didnt feel they were. No one would purposely choose to be outcast & hated - in some areas of the country. This person is a friend to you for a reason... don't let anything change that. Trust me, God doesn't care if your friend is gay anymore than He cares if you are straight. He just cares that you show forth Him, God is love - yes? Show people love for He is love.

I couldn't do this. I don't feel convicted or wrong for saying so.

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I have a cousin who is lesbian and legally married in the state of Maryland.

When they come down for a couple days visit, they sleep in seperate rooms.

They know that I love them and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them if they were in need, but they know my beliefs and I will not allow an abomination to go on in my home.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by Jack Shephard

Do either of you love your children any less because of what they do or who they are? (presuming you both have children, Hoovie I know you have 17 lol) The answer I would imagine would be "no." Love is, or should be, unconditional. I understand there are sometimes situations that can cause people to step across that "thin line between love and hate." But generally, if you love someone you love them forever. I may be naive, but that is how I work. I love forever. Romantic love my go away, but the love & care doesn't - though is converts itself a bit.

Love, or loving a person inspite of their faults is at the very least tolerance, which is NOT an unhealthy thing, but love & tolerance aren't saying "I agree you are right, or okay, or even going to heaven." Love is just love...not a sign of agreement, but a sign of acceptance.

Apples and Oranges.

Love is a sign of acceptance, but does not have to be an acceptance of their lifestyle.

If one of my children was an alcoholic, I would still love them and accept them, but I would not accept them drinking in my home or around my family.

[navygoat1998]

Originally Posted by scotty

When they come down for a couple days visit, they sleep in seperate rooms.

Scotty I have a question if you had a male family member and his girlfriend would you require them to sleep in separate rooms?

[scotty]

Originally Posted by navygoat1998

Scotty I have a question if you had a male family member and his girlfriend would you require them to sleep in separate rooms?

I have.

And it wasnt a family member.

Had a friend and his live-in girlfriend stay over.

They slept in different beds.

What kind of example would I set for my daughters if not?

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by scotty

When they come down for a couple days visit, they sleep in seperate rooms.

Scotty I have a question if you had a male family member and his girlfriend would you require them to sleep in separate rooms?

I don't know what Scotty's answer will be, but in our home, couples who aren't married are given separate bedrooms. We have children in our home, and if an unmarried couple wants to sleep together, they'll have to check into a hotel. Or sneak out to the barn.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by scotty

I have.

And it wasnt a family member.

Had a friend and his live-in girlfriend stay over.

They slept in different beds.

What kind of example would I set for my daughters if not?

[scotty]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I don't know what Scotty's answer will be, but in our home, couples who aren't married are given separate bedrooms. We have children in our home, and if an unmarried couple wants to sleep together, they'll have to check into a hotel. Or sneak out to the barn.

[navygoat1998]

Originally Posted by scotty