Advice: The Single Christian

[Evenuntodeath]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I have already discovered that it often seems like the church assumes that a Christian single is unappy and MUST find a mate. However, many Christian singles are perfectly happy being single. The church often makes them feel incomplete and contributes to the feelings of loneliness or sense of "not fitting in" when it does this.

However, I'm feeling that a person can be perfectly happy and content being single. Maybe it's just my age catching up with me. However, I can see feeling lonely at times. But loneliness can be remedied by surrounding yourself with good godly friends, much prayer, being involved in serving the church and others. Even "going out" to socialize with wisdom. I can also see having sexual feelings and not knowing how to relieve them without a sense of shame or condemnation. It's been my personal experience that these feelings don't necessarily go away with cold showers, prayer, and joining a softball league. What are the bounderies, what is allowed in the eyes of God for a single Christian with sexual needs? I'm sure many single Christians have struggled with these questions since ancient times.

I was talking to an elder about this and he said, "Draw near to God and be prayerful. You have to talk to God and allow the Spirit to direct you in some personal matters and let know man condemn you. It's between you and your Lord."

Is there any wisdom in that?

Ok, Let me explain. BTW, Im so glad you created this topic.

Yes I feel that singleness is misunderstood in that the primary focus on helping singles in ministering to lonliness and lust. While these are common problems there are many struggles singles deal with which can be just as much a hinderance as the above.

For me my main struggles are fear(fear of loving again, fear of rejection), self esteem(confident that someone will want me), forgiveness(past hurts), the longing of having children..

I feel that stuggles with being single are somewhat different for men than for women. For women there is a huge emotional aspect in being single and I find few singles ministries touch on this . Many singles ministries mainly focus preventing compulsive sins without getting to the root cause of these sins. Hence why many singles continue to go around in circles and get no where in their spiritual walk.