Help! Tormented dreams

[votivesoul]

Aquila, I don't expect or demand that your change your understanding on any of this.

But, whether this matters one bit to you or not, I see something in this thread, that you have been doing over the course of several pages, since you and I first engaged each other.

You keep saying something along the lines of "Votive, you're usually not this irrational..."

Then you ask semi-rhetorical questions like "Where is this coming from?" and etc. You can do what you want with this, but what you are doing is a subtle, perhaps even for you, subconscious, form of mind control (You even attempted a demonstration of it with your "Red Ball" experiment, for all of us to see how it works).

I have told you two times why I am worked up about this stuff, but you haven't accepted my reasons. You push right past them as though you were on a mission to find out something that isn't there, to read between the lines of my posts, to get to the heart of something you wish was happening, but to no avail.

Look what has happened. Look how much new info has come to light by me challenging you.

First, you post a list of symptoms, claiming Matt Burris gave it to you. Then, you casually admit you didn't even know what something on that list was. Then you played it off like it was no big deal. Then you admit you haven't even looked at that list in some time. Now, most recently, you confess you don't even know where the list came from, it's just part of some file you have on your computer, a piece of collected data from who knows where.

Each time I bring this issue up, things get foggier and foggier. Had I not said a single word about it, how many people do you suppose, reading along or commenting, might have taken that list at face value, and accepted it as completely legit, all the way through, because, for instance, perhaps they trust you, or etc.?

Before I ever questioned you on anything, honestly say why you posted that list. What was your motivation? What did you hope you'd achieve?

Because as it comes across to me, there is more here than simply the sharing of information or ideas. All those initial posts you made, before I became to make inquiries, from where I'm sitting, were created in an attempt to convince Modest Mama you had the goods on what was going on and it was your counsel, above what anyone else had written, that was the counsel that was to be trusted.

Hey, I get it. You believe what you believe, so why not speak to that? I understand that. But you've stated more than once, especially early on, that deliverance ministers are supposed to be cautious and patient, and have to take the necessary amount of time, to confirm that an evil spirit is present and active.

You didn't go to every meeting. You weren't always around. There was only one possessed person. You had to walk away from the deliverance ministry because your own life was erupting. The list maybe didn't even come from them, you don't really know, etc. and etc.

But, we're supposed to trust your discernment in the Holy Spirit? Aquila, try to take a step back and see how all of these things smack of inexperience.

I have a blog. I've made somewhere around seventy entries. I've been blogging for about five years. I don't have a very big reader base. Some people here and people from facebook, some stragglers from around the web, and that's about it.

Ought I then to act as though I'm the Huffington Post and I know so much about blogging and how to make your blog stand out and get more readers, and draw in advertisers, and go full time so you can quit your day job and make money writing online, because I have a majorly small-time blog and I've read some articles online on how to blog and be successful at it?

Would I or should I pass myself off in such a manner? Isn't that the height of hubris and the depth of disingenuousness all wrapped up into one?

I realize we could continue trading posts, quid pro quo, and never really reach an agreement on anything in this thread. There might even be some benefit in doing so, whether for you, for me, for both of us, or for those who are reading along or continuing to participate.

But then again, maybe not. So as I said in my opening comments above, I don't expect or demand that you change your mind about what you believe. But I hope that you take some time and try to see it my way, and see whether or not the manner in which you posted in this most serious of threads was truly appropriate and motivated by a sincere and pure heart. Because if you ask me, it doesn't look that way.

Now, do you trust my discernment, Aquila, the way you asked Modest Mama to trust yours?