If you ever missed a best friends wedding because it was on a Saturday night and out of town and you didn't have you pastors permission to miss church the next morning, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you ever felt guilty watching a slide show because the frames switched too fast and thus appeared too much like video, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you ever gave up a new job in another town because your pastor did not give permission to move, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you ever averted your eyes while walking through the electronics section of Sears because of the TV's on the wall (no matter that it was only a Sears Kenmore appliance commercial in a continual loop) you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you EVER thought someone was lost despite their overall apostolic appearance -because you caught a glimpse of elbow, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you attended bible college expecting to graduate with a 70K a year salary, Lincoln, and prized parking spot, and being honored as "God's Anointed", you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you dated your soon-to-be wife ONLY after getting your pastors permission, and now 15 years later sorta wish he wouldn't have given it, you MAY be an apostolic redneck!
And finally, if you feel the best way to grow the church is to have as many children as possible (giving them all names with the same 1st letter of course) you may be a redneck -apostolic or otherwise.
Last edited by RandyWayne; 02-08-2011 at 09:03 PM.
If you ever missed a best friends wedding because it was on a Saturday night and out of town and you didn't have you pastors permission to miss church the next morning, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you ever felt guilty watching a slide show because the frames switched too fast and thus appeared too much like video, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you ever gave up a new job in another town because your pastor did not give permission to move, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you ever averted your eyes while walking through the electronics section of Sears because of the TV's on the wall (no matter that it was only a Sears Kenmore appliance commercial in a continual loop) you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you EVER thought someone was lost despite their overall apostolic appearance -because you caught a glimpse of elbow, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you dated your soon-to-be wife ONLY after getting our pastors permission, and now 15 years later sorta wish he wouldn't have given it, you MAY be an apostolic redneck!
And finally, if you feel the best way to grow the church is to have as many children as possible (giving them all names with the same 1st letter of course) you may be a redneck -apostolic or otherwise.
Thanks RandyWayne you made me laugh! I see you've been there and probably got the tee shirt! Oh, but wait, you can't wear it! (Elbow...you know!)
You might be an AFF Redneck if you think that Old Paths II believes all that stuff. (Oh, he really does? You're kidding aren't you???)
Been Thinkin
__________________
"From the time you're born, 'til you ride in the hearse, there ain't nothing bad that couldn't be worse!"
LIFE: Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant!
I have ... Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia! The fear of long words.
"Prediction is very hard, especially about the future." - Yogi Berra
"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave in reflection." - Thomas Paine
You might be an AFF Redneck if you think Sister Alvear doesn't really believe in women being in the ministry!
Sis. Alvear your name belongs in the 3 persons list on another thread. You are awesome, and a "Godly" lady and a successful person of God! Ignore the naysayers and keep up your work for God!
Been Thinkin
__________________
"From the time you're born, 'til you ride in the hearse, there ain't nothing bad that couldn't be worse!"
LIFE: Some days you're the dog and some days you're the hydrant!
I have ... Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia! The fear of long words.
"Prediction is very hard, especially about the future." - Yogi Berra
"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave in reflection." - Thomas Paine
If you have ever rejoiced when someone repented. Rejoiced when someone received the Holy Ghost. Rejoiced when someone was baptized, but saved the REAL rejoicing for when they showed up in a dress or shaved and looking the part, you ARE an apostolic redneck!
If you ever got out of square dancing in gym class, then your parents are apostolic rednecks.
If you ever stopped talking to you best friend after they left your current church for another because it was demanded from the platform that they be shunned, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If your wife goes through a whole can of hairspray on a single Sunday, you may be an apostolic redneck.
If you always call theaters "movie houses" or swimming "mixed bathing", or calling anyone who discovered even a sliver of liberty a "backslider", you may be an apostolic redneck.
And finally, if you refuse to run from any danger -not because you feel God will protect you, but because your wife has uncut hair, you may be an apostolic redneck.
Last edited by RandyWayne; 02-08-2011 at 09:24 PM.
...Sis. Alvear your name belongs in the 3 persons list on another thread. You are awesome, and a "Godly" lady and a successful person of God! Ignore the naysayers and keep up your work for God!
Been Thinkin
AMEN!!!!
__________________
Sam also known as Jim Ellis
Apostolic in doctrine
Pentecostal in experience
Charismatic in practice
Non-denominational in affiliation
Inter-denominational in fellowship
Linear Mode
