
This is ridiculous, Timmy.
The whole point of a spiritual walk is a spiritual life. Scripture is not meant to make sense to you in the temporal, and so it does not make sense to you. Give up trying to make sense of Scripture, in your present state. It is not meant for you. It
reveals you, just as It does everyone else, and unfortunately for you the description in your case precludes the insurmountable advantage of
access to Scripture.
So, you are really just wasting your time,
and ours, by this constantattackfrom
everyangle, relentlesslybeatingyour head
against a completelyunyieldingFoundation,
which you'll notice most everyone stays
a mile away from.
The only way you can really comment on Scripture
is when you regain access to Scripture,
and all of your comments until then,
and forever after, are going to not only reflect,
but be compared to this.