Respect as Women

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

We allow choice in the issues that we already feel are optional. We don't allow our children to choose sin. We have taught them what we believe is right and scriptural, and anything that lies beyond that is for them to pick up on their own. Our pastor doesn't teach dress standards from the pulpit, (other than generically teaching on modesty in dress and behavior) so the only time they hear about rules is from us or when they're going over a list of rules for church camp.

I certainly didn't think you would allow a choice of sin. If they keep the standards on the platform and in leadership, then they are being taught along with his modesty in dress and behavior. When he speaks on that issue, the audience understands the teaching to be what they see.

I don't agree with the way you presented this. I don't have to agree with something in order to practice it or keep it. Submission is about submitting to someone else's will instead of your own. IMO, submission isn't even involved if there's no disagreement--you're simply doing what you already wanted to do, otherwise. I certainly don't believe it's dishonest or lying, unless you couple your practice with verbal assertion that you agree with or believe something that you don't. I can think of several rules that I follow that I don't agree with. How does that make me (or anyone else) dishonest?

How I presented it was the facts of a situation. Just wanted to be clear about that. I am speaking about the hair issue. She felt it wasn't biblical to say she couldn't trim her hair, and so she trimmed it. Obviously, if you wear it down, you can see it is trimmed. She believes that as long as her hair is long, she is not violating scripture. To keep a leadership position, you can't believe or do that.

There are things about the conservative church world that I don't love, and I realize that under certain leadership it can become toxic very quickly. That's why I stated in an earlier post that church leadership determines, to a very large extent, whether your experience is positive or negative. Overall, our experience has been positive where we are now (where we've been for 14 years), but if we had remained in our former church, it would have been much different. I don't know how it would have affected me or our children in the longterm to be under a different type of leadership.

I agree - the whole thing rests on the leadership.

Whether the way we have handled our girls has simplified their choices or made them more complicated in the long run remains to be seen.

Very true. The main thing is that you have done your best and you love them dearly.