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Originally Posted by Pressing-On
Yes, women do make choices. But your girls aren't women. They are underage and live in your house and under your care. They pretty much have to deal with whatever you and your husband are doing and where you attend church. I only refer to them as you have already mentioned your discussions with them. Although, I would respect you and your family by not going too far with the discussion here.
I am only looking at that as though my own children lived with me. I am just saying that giving them a choice would have caused a divide in my home if one child was sitting on the fence. If I am following the will of God, and we have, they are part of that choice.
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We allow choice in the issues that we already feel are optional. We don't allow our children to choose sin. We have taught them what we believe is right and scriptural, and anything that lies beyond that is for them to pick up on their own. Our pastor doesn't teach dress standards from the pulpit, (other than generically teaching on modesty in dress and behavior) so the only time they hear about rules is from us or when they're going over a list of rules for church camp.
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My daughter is very talented and has to be "doing" something all the time. Now that she is older and gone, she has had to make that choice - because it was hers to make. While others followed the standards they didn't believe in, to keep their positions, she opted to be truthful about it and lost hers. So, going between two churches that are polar opposites, she wants to be in the one where she feels freedom in the Spirit. That choice happens to be a standard teaching church.
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I don't agree with the way you presented this. I don't have to agree with something in order to practice it or keep it. Submission is about submitting to someone else's will instead of your own. IMO, submission isn't even involved if there's no disagreement--you're simply doing what you already wanted to do, otherwise. I certainly don't believe it's dishonest or lying, unless you couple your practice with verbal assertion that you agree with or believe something that you don't. I can think of several rules that I follow that I don't agree with. How does that make me (or anyone else) dishonest?
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Anyway, from my perspective, it just isn't as easy as you made it sound in your posts. That's all I am saying. In the discussion of "choices", I am saying that I want to lay everything on the table. You didn't mention the difficulty that can be involved and I simply wanted to do that here.
My impression of your posts is that you love the conservative world you live in, so it is not toxic to you. Would that be correct?
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There are things about the conservative church world that I don't love, and I realize that under certain leadership it can become toxic very quickly. That's why I stated in an earlier post that church leadership determines, to a very large extent, whether your experience is positive or negative. Overall, our experience has been positive where we are now (where we've been for 14 years), but if we had remained in our former church, it would have been much different. I don't know how it would have affected me or our children in the longterm to be under a different type of leadership.
Whether the way we have handled our girls has simplified their choices or made them more complicated in the long run remains to be seen.
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