Quote:
Originally Posted by CareyM
This is sad but true.
I did not start this thread to bring up old wounds...I'm truely sorry for what you and others have been through. We had a terrible experience with the church my husband was raised in...have many of the same thoughts you've expressed here.
However, I don't believe it's like this everywhere...there are some good people in UPC that really do want to help people.
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You're absolutely correct about the UPC. And don't worry about my "old wounds." Talking things out in a forum like this has actually been good for me. Many of the spots that used to be too tender to touch have healed
(or grown calloused?) to the point that I don't jump like I used to when they're touched. I'm almost becoming reasonable again.
In our culture you can't really talk to anybody when things go wrong. We have these walls that we throw up to prevent "bad news" from getting around. The result often ends up being that the bad news gets around anyhow- and good people are often left hanging in bewildering circumstances.
Sometimes it's good just to be able to say, "You know it hurt a lot when that happened to me." All a person needs to hear in response is, "Of course! That kind of thing's gotta hurt." And then when you think about feeling sorry for yourself and you say, "Everybody's a wretch and I'll never be happy again..." It's important to have someone respond, "Now you've taken it too far. Sure it hurt, but if you let it, it does heal too."
A think a lot of people just fester in a hurtful condition because they never had anyone confirm their hurt. Because they never got the feedback of, "Yeah, that's gotta hurt..." they feel like they
have to prove just how bad it was- and still is. And so, the healing never gets started.
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