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But it is deeper yet than that: I don't trust God. If He is in charge of everything and everything is always falling apart then just what is He saying to me? Does He really love me? Will He truly never leave me? Does He really have my best interest at heart?
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I have been hurt a whole lot myself but I have to say that the only one I DO trust IS God. The problem comes only being able to see God through the filter of those around me. So many think THEY know what God wants. A man may say "It is Gods Will that you follow ME!". Another (or the same guy) will use the "Obey them that have the rule over you" phrase to indicate that Gods will is whatever he (small 'h') says.
So my problem isn't trusting God, it is trying to divine God's Will from mans.
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