Divorce in the church

[Mrs. LPW]

There are so many different things that affect marriages today. And what may destroy one marriage may have no effect on another marriage at all.
For instance... I was young when I married and I didn't know my husband long beforehand... our backgrounds were so different... he came from a broken home, I from a whole one... he came from abuse, I never knew anything but love and care. So needless to say, with the big hour of counselling we recieved by the pastor that married us... we had issues right from the start of our "I do"s.

I know another couple who did the same, knew each other a short time.. married quick and in all honesty they haven't had any serious troubles at all over the years. So everyone and every marriage is different.

But one thing is true... there just isn't enough counsel, there isn't enough preparation, there isn't enough support once married.

If you take the tendency for Apostolic young people to marry young, couple it with the lack of support and counsel in most of our churches, add the fact that we are bombarded by the immoral and humanistic ideals every day at work, school, and in the media... it's a sure fire recipe for marital breakdown.

I've said it in a previous post.. but I'll just state it again for the record... There are circumstances. Abuses etc... That warrant the abused party to leave...

But what I'm seeing (at least in my area and in my life's travels and experiences) is the ideals of the world (ie you're not happy, you'd be happier single or happier with someone else) creeping into the mainstream church world. This is always scary to me. Does anyone else understand what I'm trying to say? I'm not very good at wording things sometimes... so I read and re-read my posts... I can't seem to completely express what I'm saying and I always fear offending someone who's been through a divorce.

I guess what I'm saying is... take the music industry for example.. the Christian music industry. We have two of the Martin's family... Amy Grant... Sandy Patti (Sandi Patty... never could remember how she spells it)
It just seems like it's more and more accepted to end your marriage and start a new one. And sometimes there is no abuse involved... sometimes it's just rocky... you don't get along "irreconcilable differences"

So where do we, as a church, say... wait... we've got to stop this. We've got to heal these marriages... we've got to not take "divorce" for an answer?

At the extreme risk of someone thinking I'm saying they didn't put enough effort into saving their marriage I am saying this. I'm actually really nervous about hitting the submit reply button.. I don't want ANYONE to feel like I'm inferring they didn't do enough to save their marriages.

I think the "church" is letting down it's saints in this department... and having gone through some things myself I'm wondering where the answers lie.
And I'm wondering how many marriages have to fall apart for our minsters to realize we really need more marital support in this day and age.

This is long... forgive me. The topic of marriage and God's plan and healing of marriages is close to my heart.