Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

I have tried it both ways, I stayed over a year past the time I should have left, submitting, and doing all things I was told and asked to do by leadership. I got the same result...it was not enough to be worthy.

The second time - I left straightway without wasting my time and energy on a control freak - God-man- who insisted on unquestioned loyalty and obedience.

I feel better with the second way of leaving because I have no history or any hurt feelings...it is over and I shook the dust off my feet, whereas, the first time when I stayed - I left part of my heart behind because I had so much vested in it and the only one who cares is God.

Blessings, Rhoni

P.S. It does no one any good, i.e., family, friends, or others to stay and be miserable and make leadership miserable wanting you to leave so they will feel more adequate/comfortable.

What do you mean by - "I tried it both ways"?

How do you "try" things out if you are supposed to be following God's direction? Not trying to start an argument here. It's just a very interesting observation and conversation for me.

Either God says "stay" or He says "Go" and points you to where He wants you to go. I've never had it happen any other way in my life.

Now, that it not to say that I have NOT become tired, aggravated, afraid, angry, tempted, made mistakes, etc. He just kept pushing me through all of this, kept speaking to me, forgiving me, moving me forward. I've never had to make a decision on my own. He makes them for me. I don't know how to do that any other way.

I can't look back and ever say - "I" tried something. It sounds like I'm the one making the decision. How do I know where I am supposed to be in 10 years if I don't follow His direction?

We were also in a situation where we had to stay one year after we resigned our positions. We didn't feel a release to leave, it was not a pleasant situation to say the least. Looking back, I can see that God was using that for people to draw on later down the road - how things were handled. God just knows what needs to be done and what He is doing in every individual life.

I've taken it as far as having to speak at a ladies meeting and I have said to God, "If you don't give me something to say, I'm going to stand up and tell them I have nothing to say. I'm not going to get my thoughts from a previous message, a book, etc." I feel that strong that He has a pointed message every time we come together.

I feel as strong that we have a path He has chosen and I need to stay on it - thick or thin! Not by my choice, but His.