I think some people find the statement "mutual submission" to be a stumbling block, because they imagine women bossing their husbands around and him saying weakly, with his shoulders slumped and head down, "Yes ma'am, whatever you wish, ma'am." However, in a marriage, if both man and wife serve one another in love, that is the basic idea of "mutual submission."
That said: If I snap my fingers at my husband and tell him to get his butt in gear, he won't do anything at all for me.
Be ye kind one to another. 
I also believe that the husband should be respected as the authority in the home, but that doesn't mean he walks around as the king, beating his chest, and expecting subservience from his minions. It means he carries the most responsibility in the home, and is responsible for everything that goes on there. The husband is responsible to provide for and protect the home and family, as well as love those in his family unconditionally. Ideally, his wife will defer to his authority whenever necessary, but he doesn't force anything on his wife.
It's not a job for pansies or narcissists.
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