Don't Ask....Don't Tell. Good Policy?

[Azzan]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Wow. First, thank you for having the courage to tell some of your story and jumping in here. I hope you're not bashed like I've seen happen here on numerous other occasions. It's not unlike, at all, what I've heard many times from others in your demographic. In fact, your thoughts about "Choice", "Begging God to take it away", and suicide attempts are verbatim what I, and I'm sure others here, have heard before.

I'd like to know your thoughts about the military policy, your feelings about their motives, the fear of some here to shower in a military setting with gay men, and your feelings when you read things such as the one fellow's thoughts about homosexuality being a mental illness.

Thanks again for jumping in.

If I am bashed, it will not be because I am trying to force an agenda or my life style on anyone but because that person has an issue with homosexuals. My goal is help foster understanding by answering questions openly and honestly by sharing my story.

Yes, my story is not unique among gays - it is unfortunately all too common.

Does any reasonable adult think that someone would "choose" to be attracted to the same gender, especially when that person has been raised Pentecostal? Why would someone "choose" to go to hell?

As to the military policy, there is a lot of back story that I am afraid I couldn't squeeze into one single post so I will attempt to be succinct.

I do not and have not served in the military so I can only answer from personal experience as a civilian. I think the driving force behind allowing gay military personnel to "come out of the closet" so to speak is the need to be open and honest about who they are.

I have known since I was 11 that I was attracted to my gender. I have suppressed that desire and have tried to be the person that my parents, my church family, my siblings, my children, and society wanted me to be. Pretending to be something you are not requires great amounts of energy and time and that effort comes at a cost. It wears you down. You get tired of trying to be something you are not, of trying to "fit in". You get to the point where you become angry, even militant in some cases, because you are not free to be who you are.

It's no different in the military, perhaps even worse because as least as a civilian, I cannot be fired from my job because I happen to be gay.

As to the fears of some about showering with others who might be attracted to them, you can stop worrying about it. If you are going to a gym and using their shower facilities you can be sure that you are showering with a homosexual. We are everywhere.

Have you been accosted in a shower? I would bet not as we are very good at knowing who is family and who is not. We have to be. I am sure there are isolated events but by and large you can forget it, we're not going to try and convert you or come unto to you.

As to the opinion that homosexuality is a mental illness you may be surprised to learn that I can agree in part to this. It is my personal opinion that some gays are gay because of a troubled childhood. But I also believe that there are others who are born this way. I know I cannot convince you of that and rest assured you are never going to convince me otherwise because I know in my heart of hearts that I am one of the ones who cannot change - I had tried for MANY years.

I hope this helps NOW.