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Re: Emotional Adultery
Quote:
Originally Posted by jfrog
The majority of the responses I have seen say he should just do whatever makes his wife happy and I'm sure this is true to some degree.
But if he is honestly telling her not to worry and nothing is going on then isn't the flip side that she should do what makes him happy and not worry about him and his ex?
In other words I think the whole argument that he is wrong unless he does what makes her happy in this situation doesn't follow. There isn't anything inherently wrong in sending an email to an ex that you are about to have a class reunion with. So to call what he is doing abuse is just absurd. There is nothing wrong with her worry either though.
Now, it is true that him wanting to stop contact voluntarily would be the best solution. But you can't make someone do something voluntarily and the more he is coerced into doing this the more negative effects will follow.
Ultimately I think she should stand her ground and remind him that it bothers her and that she would like him to stop having contact with his ex. Either he will be pushed to give up contact with the ex or he will finally convince her that there is nothing to worry about. Both of these solutions have negatives though but basically I don't think their relationship will work if she remains in worry about him talking to his ex.
But I'm 22 and not married so what do I know...
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When you've been married for a few years, get back to us with your educated opinion. 
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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