Emotional Adultery

[DRichards]

I've read AFF for several months and come now with a question to help my friend.


The friend and her husband are both Christians, UPC backgrounds. My friend's husband left his e-mail page open and she noticed several e-mails from him and another person, and read them. Turned out, the person was an ex-girlfriend of her husband's (one he had slept with). The ex-girlfriend had joined a group called "Classmates" because the reunion of their graduating class was coming up, and she saw my friend's husband was a member and contacted him.

Several e-mails went back and forth between my friend's husband and his ex-girlfriend. In one of the e-mails, my friend's husband said to his ex-girlfriend that she had been remarkable when he knew her, and felt she was probably even more amazing today. My friend talked about this with her husband, and he tried to downplay it, and said she was over-reacting.

Long story short, they've been talking about this entire situation. My friend feels her husband shouldn't stay in touch with this woman, or with other ex-girlfriends. She feels it's borderline emotional adultery. Her husband says he doesn't see any harm in it.

She wants to know why a man (especially one who is a Christian) would stay in touch with a former girlfriend (especially one he slept with). She is also wondering how other husbands and wives feel about this?